Choosing an Agency: Who Should We Work With?

Updated 4/13/26

Choosing to foster or adopt a child is a deeply personal journey- one that requires you to work closely with child welfare professionals and other members of a team of people working towards the best interests of a the child. Becoming a foster/adoptive parent in Virginia requires families to undergo intensive trainings, self reflections, and what can feel at times like a very intrusive home study process. Once approved, navigating the unknowns of foster care and adoption can be grueling. Knowing how challenging this process can be, it is important for families to be intentional in choosing who they want to partner with to navigate this journey.

The Importance of Ethical Child Welfare Practices

Ethical child welfare practices ensure that foster and adoptive families, children and birth families thrive. You want to be sure that any provider you works with is providing services in an ethical manner. An ethical agency will:

  • Keeps the child’s best interest at the center of all decisions.

  • Provide informed consent to all parties- foster/adoptive families and birth families

  • Incorporate trauma informed care- understanding that children separated from their birth family will have experienced grief and loss and deserve care that is supportive, patient and therapeutic. For children in foster care, this includes understanding that children who have experienced abuse and neglect will also have special emotional/behavioral needs and parents should be trauma informed in how they manage those needs.

  • Encourage and provide pathways and support for openness between the birth family and the foster/adoptive family knowing that research is consistent in openness being in the best interest of the child(ren) in most cases

  • Be transparent and honest with families in all things, especially regarding a child’s needs, medical history, risks, costs, etc.

  • Honor the child’s cultural, racial and religious background

  • Act with professionalism and integrity, keeping the child’s best interest at the center of all intervention

  • Make every effort to preserve the birth family first before pursuing adoption

Factors to Consider

Values and Goals: In addition to ensuring that the provider your choose is ethical, you should also consider your own personal values and goals and make sure that they are in line with the agency you are considering working with. For example, if your ultimate goal is to adopt a child, make sure that you ask a prospective foster care agency is adoption is likely to be an available option to you if you foster with them.

While you do not have to share the same values as your provider, you will want to be comfortable with their framework for services. For example, our program is a mission of Catholic Charities; our service model and service delivery are rooted in the Catholic faith and teachings on the dignity and value of individuals and families. Find an agency that shares or at least is respectful and accepting of your values.

Quality of Services: Expect high quality service delivery and training. The goal of foster care or adoption should not just be to adopt a child: it should be for the child, birth parent and foster/adoptive family to thrive.   This is why ethical providers prepare families throughout the home study and training process for the challenges they may face and equip families with the skills and knowledge they will need to successfully navigate those challenges. 

Community of Support: Families will need a high level of support when navigating foster care and adoption. Some agencies have opportunities for families to connect with one another, resources to help their communities support them and encourage building adoption competence within the systems that the family’s function in from the start of the home study.

Considerations When Choosing an Infant Adoption Agency

 Prospective adoptive parents must be aware and mindful of potential adoption scams and unethical practices.  Working with an ethical adoption agency, that prioritizes pre-placement counseling for the birth parent, is essential.

Avoid unethical practices such as providers who advertise services that they do not provide. For example, adoption facilitators and adoption law centers are unlicensed entities who seek out pregnant woman to place with their identified ‘client’. This kind of structure focuses on advertising and coercion rather than genuine counseling and assistance for a woman/family facing a crisis. In Virginia, adoption facilitating entities are outlawed.

If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.  Be wary of providers who make blanket promises or assurances regarding adoption. For a child to be adopted, there must first be some type of crisis leading to the adoption - it should never be assumed that a pregnant client considering adoption will ultimately follow through with her adoption plan even if she has chosen an adoptive family. Similarly, it should not be assumed that a child in foster care will not have behavioral struggles when transitioned to the adoptive home. Ask questions and seek honesty and transparency in the answers you are provided.

Adoption is not an exchange of goods, and it should never be viewed as merely transactional.  Adoption should always be structured in a way that protects and supports everyone in the adoption triad: the birth family, the adoptive family and the adoptee.  

The decision to pursue adoption is a big step, followed by the equally big step of who will be accompanying you on your adoption journey.  Be sure to do your research, expect high quality services, and listen to your gut.  

We STRONGLY recommend you interview your interstate agencies thoroughly to ensure they are providing ethical adoption services:

  • We STRONGLY recommend you interview your interstate agencies thoroughly to ensure they are providing ethical adoption services:

    1) What state(s) are you licensed with to placements with? Where can I find a copy of this license? (Some interstate agencies work with multiple states, which could decrease your wait time. Note that some agencies may say they work in a certain state, but then they end up contracting out with another agency to handle the actual placement since they are not licensed in that state.)

    2) What is the legal risk process in your state(s)? (Legal risk is the amount of time that the birth mother is allotted to revoke her consent of adoption).

    3) How do you work with birth parents? What kind of care/counseling do they receive before placement? After placement? *It is highly recommended that you work with an agency that provides face to face and ongoing counseling to birth families in house and don’t refer out to external counselors. Post placement care is critical to birth parents healing and peace in their decision to place- look for agencies that are committed to post placement care.

    4) What is your average wait time? How many families are waiting in your pool? How many infant adoptions were completed in the past year?

    5) What are your fees and when are they payable? What is your refund policy?

    6) Do you have “pass through” fees to a birth mother? If so, is there a limit on them? What happens if you have paid these pass-through fees and the birth mother changes her mind? Refund policy for pass through fees?

    7) How often are we expected to have our home study and other home study documents (e.g. background screens, medicals, etc.) updated to remain active in your state(s)?

    8) What is the process of matching/deciding what profile books to show birth parents?

    9) At what point in an expectant parent’s pregnancy do you match expectant parents with adoptive couples?

    10) When matched, how often are we expected to travel and for how long?

    11) What does the finalization process look like in your state(s)? Do we have to finalize in your state, or can we finalize in Virginia? (Either way, Catholic Charities can work with you for all post placement needs)

    12) Could you provide us with several references from families who have worked with you to complete an interstate adoption?

  • What is your service area/what counties do you serve in Virginia?

    What support is available to families after they are certified?

    What is the expectation for parental leave following the placement of a child in my home?

    Where are visits with the birth family going to take place? Are families responsible for transportation to/from visits and expected to supervise or remain at the visits?

    Do you allow/encourage foster families to be present at court hearings?

    How do you match children and families?

    What emergency/crisis support do you offer?

    What are the ongoing training requirements after we are approved?

    Do you host any events for families to meet and get to know and support one another?

    What are the permanency outcomes for the children you work with (how many were returned home, placed with a relative, placed in kinship care, transitioned to independent living, adopted)?

    Do you have a current foster family who would be willing to speak with us?

“Ethical child welfare practices foster healthy children and families.”

Lord, we pray for all families considering growing through the gift of foster care and adoption.  Please guide their hearts towards ethical child welfare providers that will best support and prepare them for the journey they are about to begin.  Bless all prospective and current adoptive families, birth parents and adopted children.  Saint Joseph, perfect foster father of Jesus, pray for us!"

Additional Resources

Meaghan Lane